Monday, May 15, 2006



At some earlier time I mentioned that I like to sing. Well, yesterday (Mothers' Day) I sang a solo in church. My first solo there. And after lots of prep and having it note perfect, I sang the wrong verse. As it's really not OK to stop and say "I'm just going to start over" I kept on going and the rest of the group just picked up from where I should have finished and all was well, but. JEEZE, how did I do that??? Oh well, at least I sang it well.

Today is the final disposition hearing in court for my husband's daughter. The one her home state took away from Mom 'cause she wouldn't "keep her safe" from her predatory step-father.

I'm profoundly unhappy with the social services department. Her permanent case worker is looking pretty incompetent from this perspective and they've done nothing about counseling for the girl so that it looks as if uprooting her from her school a year before graduation and our less than great insurance may be better for her than that state's apparent indifference to the damage those monsters did to her.

What I'm left with from our experience throughout the years with that particular state's beaurocracy, is the conclusion that they're only good at crises. For years before she was taken away we were dismissed as the angry ex and his wife. None of our complaints, which were always reports of sick behavior told to us by the girls, resulted in investigations. When he molested his teenaged sister-in-law and she and her mother went to the police, no investigation. The police now tell us there have been numerous complaints "of a sexual nature" against him since the '80s. And yet, even in one instance where there was physical evidence, bruising near the vaginal area of a 7 year old, the state's social services never once investigated him! And now that the girl is finally out of there, with all the history the police have and credible enough claims from her that he's been arrested and arraigned, they can't get it together to get her counseling? They handled taking away custody from her mother well, but that's it, that's the only part of this that's been well done.

So.... we go back to court today and ask the state to give us custody or to give her the help she needs and we pray that we can make even a tiny difference in her life. That she'll be able to learn to trust, that she'll heal, and eventually that she'll wake up one day and realize that she's really truly OK.

Sunday, April 30, 2006


My life is a soap opera, but...

What a wonderful few days. Our family has just finished our first visit in about 4 years from my (now 17yo) step-daughter. This poor kid has lived most of her life in a pretty tough place. A mom who's borderline personality disordered, a particularly nasty way to be. And a step father from a very hot place. As they have denied her visitation with us for years, we've been limited in what we could do. Nobody helps you get your court-ordered rights with kids unless it's about money. If Mom denies visitation the courts may order her to resume it, but they don't make her do it. Sort of a dead-end situation.

Somehow, a few weeks back, our girl found the strength to get out and go to the powers that be. Her step father is now free on bail and awaiting trial, yes it's that bad, and Mom lost all her parental rights to the state. In a couple weeks we find out whether she'll stay in foster care (with a whole lot of psychiatric support provided) or come to us. Honestly I'm leaning toward asking for foster care to continue as the state can afford to get her better care than we can. We do get to see her as much as we want and have visits so..... We'll see what happens.

I'm not foolish about my expectations for her and us. She's been badly treated and has a really tough road ahead and we will have to work at gaining her trust. After all from her point of view we just weren't there. But at least she has the chance now to heal.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Well It's Official

According to the Social Security Administration I'm worth more dead than alive (on disability.) Sigh. Our government really knows how to make a girl feel valued.

It seems like there is some sort of ironic message in the above about modern society and all that sort of dreck. But right now, no, probably never. It's just not me. I'll just have to stick to my usual screwy optimism and pass on the more romantic image of the blase intellectual with a great haircut and a cigarette holder that my feeble brain conjures up for me.

Night all.


Monday, April 24, 2006


Well It's Official

According to the Social Security Administration I'm worth more dead than alive. My husband's spousal benefits would be more than I'd get if I was on disability. Hmmmph!

Mind you neither eventuality is likely, I hope.

My daughter has entered the blogger world. Pretty soon all the goyles in our family will take over. I love her description of herself, it's at



Well It's Official

I'm worth more dead than alive. At least to the Social Security Administration. My husband would be able to get more claiming as my spouse if I died than I would get if I was disabled. Hmmmph!

You know that email that makes the rounds periodically about whether H*** is exothermic or endothermic? We have another event that implies that it may have frozen over. My husband sorted his cassettes (none of which is newer than 10 years old) and reduced them to about 100 tapes from his original 500ish. I'm really genuinely impressed. But now I don't have the moral high ground about my fabric collection. We're planning a tag sale soon. Should I let y'all know when it's on? Just think, great bargains on old music and fabric, who could resist?


Saturday, April 22, 2006


Life outside the dementia zone

Blessed be I'm not at work! There are times I'm pretty sure that my "real life" is just a fantasy. Usually after I've been at work for 24 hours or more at a stretch. (Yes I do get to take naps, with a monitor next to me turned to high, but naps nonetheless.)

My hobbies, which may understate how much I love them, are several, but needlework and singing are high on my list. Recently I began singing at church, our "choir" is never more than 8 people, and I've also started singing with a friend. More about that another time.

Now needlework. This is a piece I'm doing as a wedding present, my own design, and possibly to be my first attempt at publishing one of my patterns. It will be a draw-string bag for the bride to carry with white satin behind the needlework. The cut work is called hardanger and despite the fact that I used red thread the line stitching is called blackwork. There is also some satin stitch and padded satin stitch. My apologies for the fuzzy picture, on dial-up a high resolution scan isn't much of an option. Sigh. What doesn't show is that there are 7 sets of hearts, one for each day of the week.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


Here I am world!

I'm a blog-baby. A new experience.

In an hour I have to go off to work in the dementia zone. Thankfully only two people to take care of, not the dozen I'd have in a nursing home. I wonder what alternate reality we'll be in today. Will it be the "everybody is a thief and lier" universe or the "gracious lady" universe (my personal favorite) or perhaps the "poor, poor, pitiful me, I live in poverty" universe.

I really do like my job, but sometimes it's a little challenging to get into the mindset necessary to do it. Ah well.

I got a really sweet gift yesterday. Our church is paying for our youngest's after school care 'til the end of the school year. They want to take a little pressure off as we get ready for our move this summer. It's really wonderful to be part of a real community. Time to go prep for work.

I'll put up a needlework post next, my avocation as opposed to my job.


Sunday, April 16, 2006


as the world turns

the sisters arrive


hello world

just a little test

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?